Friends With Benefits

2015-01-05_21-36-37While attending a New Years Eve party, I happen to sit down at a table with a group of women that attended solo. One woman was clearly frustrated that  “no men are out here.” Like fast and furious, a conversation was struck up that all the decent men were taken. Another woman said, “that’s why I’m only looking for a FWB for 2015.” In unison, the meows and high fives started flying around.. and most of the women at the table agreed with that notion. As a life coach, clearly I needed to dig into this FWB situation a little deeper. So I pulled up my Urban Dictionary and found this definition: “Two friends who have a sexual relationship without being emotionally involved. Typically two good friends who have casual sex without a monogamous relationship or any kind of commitment.  A safe relationship, that mimics a real partnership but is empty or greatly lacking jealousy and other such emotions that come with a serious relationship”.

Okay, so basically a physically involved relationship, where both partners enjoy some comforts of sitting on the fence between a serious relationship and a simple friendship. Personally speaking, here lies the issue with this setup. Because most women are hardwired to emotionally connect with the partner to whom she is sharing her body with, I can clearly see the downside of being Friends-With-Benefits. Girlfriends beware, you are going to be left holding your heart in your hands. Frankly speaking, being in a relationship with someone who has sex with you but only considers you a “friend”….is like being expensive Louis Vuitton luggage that is left unclaimed at the airport. Good enough to travel with, take care of your sh*t and even show off. But not good enough to stake claim and take home. Just saying…Boom!


What’s your thoughts? Holla back y’all. Let’s get conversational.



  1. This topic seems like it should be a hard one to respond to, but in fact it is the most simple. It goes back to the Baby boomer days, “Why buy the Cow when you can get the Milk for free”. Women. as well as men are making it so very easy to have FWB. So my thought, and it is only My Thought. If this is the life you want, then go with it and don’t complain, just be you. But if you want better for you, then go get better. If it takes someone more then a year to know if you are the person they want to commit to, then more then likely You Are Not. In the first few months of a relationship, you are putting your Best Foot Forward. You are pulling out all of the Stops, if that does not show a person who you are, then what is going to happen in another year or two. By then you are tired and have ran out of tricks, and the real you has come out. And still you are just a FWB. So like I said, this is very simple, FWB is, and it always will be just that FWB. I am just saying. If you are willing to be FWB and you are insisting on a Title, I would suggest you go write a book. That will probably be the closes you come to having a Title you can call your own.

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