Is it possible we get fooled even while we’re living with and alongside a man in the bed, day in and day out, for years and years and years? The answer is yes! Or perhaps do we as women KNOW, on some deep subconscious level that our man is doing things he’s not telling us and things that would hurt us if we knew for sure? The answer again is yes! Let’s just keep it real.
I’ve thought about this and thought about this. I’ve even looked at myself in the mirror with that robotic smile pasted on my face that could not have truly been real given what I’ve had to go through. I thought whoa!!! am I “unconscious,” or that there must be something wrong with me that I’d choose a man who could lie to me and hurt me like that and not notice that something was off in him and the relationship. Let the truth be told, most women know, but just didn’t want to deal with it. I’ve always known; as does a lot of women and decided to wait until my children were grown, rather than go through a messy divorce that would surely cost a lot of money. And given my strong Alpha female personality, I’ve always wanted to distance myself from these type of women believing that I would never, ever be fooled like that. I was wrong! I had a stranger in my bed and I too have been fooled. Of course, I said to myself “I would know if he was spending great sums of money without telling me. Surely, I would be able to tell that he was sleeping with another woman and lying to me.” However, most of the women I know that was open enough to confess such a betrayal; as did myself, just simply ignored all the signs and turned their backs on the obvious. What a lesson learned.
So, when I’m tempted to judge other women, I stop myself. I know now that “Love can be a sedative and cause common sense to fall asleep.”So I can only say that I hope I would be alert enough to know if something was wrong in my next relationship before I ever take the vow again.
If you’ve ever struggled with this… perhaps you’ve been betrayed in the past (I certainly have been thrown for a loop and completely shocked by a man’s behavior) …then let’s look at some ways to avoid ever having to go through it again. Let’s get conversational.